


turkey hell

by orphan_account



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Crack Fic, M/M, Thanksgiving AU, hxh - Freeform, turkey kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 04:29:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4333922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>kurapika reveals he has a turkey kink but chrollo has a turkey phobia?????</p>
            </blockquote>





	turkey hell

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UR1r6NCeoaM sorry

"Thanksgiving, a day where we can finally do what I've intended to do all year." Chrollo couldn't contain himself, since Kurapika had yet to reveal their biggest kink, but promised they would on Thanksgiving. Kurapika held out a silver platter with a lid, and took it off to reveal Chrollo's worst nightmare.

Whereas before the aroma lured Chrollo in like a bee to a flower, the source it came from hit him like a freight train. It was a golden brown in appearance and gave off the look of the only thing that had scarred him his whole life. Turkey. He sprung up in the air, as his eyebrows lifted and his arms flailed at the sight of the bird. 

"I'm sorry, Kurapika," Kurapika heard from under the table, where his wounded lover sat in shelter. "Turkeys happen to be my biggest fear."

Kurapika lifted his eyebrows, as this had never come up in conversation before. Not even when they whispered sweet nothings to each other. "I… I don't know what to say. This had something to do with a huge secret I've been keeping all my life for the right one." Chrollo gave Kurapika an inquisitive expression, to which he replied "I… have a turkey kink." This had to have been Chrollo's worst nightmare.

Chrollo tried to compromise with Kurapika. "I am supportive of what you love, but I don't know if this is exactly something I can handle, given the circumstances." Kurapika frown ed.

" B u t … this turkey has sufficiently turned me on… I don't think there's any turning back, now." Chrollo was concerned about the future of this relationship. "I can compromise though… What if I used a different meat?" Chrollo nodded, it was okay, after all. 

"But, family is out in the living room and the bedroom. How can we do this safely without getting caught?" Kurapika winked at Chrollo.

"Who said it had to be in the bedroom?" Kurapika did the winky thing again. To which Chrollo responded with a nod. "Put on this blindfold though." And Chrollo put it on.

Back again was a similar meaty aroma, but Chrollo trusted Kurapika would use a new meat since he has a turk e y-phobia. He felt t he leathery skin glide up his upper thigh while his vision was filled with darkness. Next, the skin was peeled off and the sliminess of the meat glided against his bare skin. 

Kurapika was all like "yeah you like that?" and Chrollo was like hell yeahz so Kurapika removed the blindfold, only to reveal that IT WAS STILL TURKEY??? Chrollo was thinking WHAT THE HECK?????

"I can't believe you would play me like a fool!" Chrollo yelled. Kurapika was like "NO, Chrollo don't leave, it's just a turkey! You found it enjoyable anyway…"

Chrollo broke down crying. "You don't understand Kurapika, this life that I lead, is only a cover for the deep traumatic past I've put behind me. The turkey phobia is very real and alive, you don't know my life, Kurapika." Kurapika nodded, he indeed, did not know his life. He continued. "It all started in grade school. There was a kid named Chad and he was such an asshole, fuck Chad. He always beat me up after school and I was SO MAD he was such a bully?? Like what the heck, Chad," he took a long pause, trying to recover his tearful self. "Anyway - we were in the school play. It was about Thanksgiving, and I was the lead pilgrim. People called me a prodigy actor, but then Chad, who played a turkey, pulled me over backstage and beat me up. My nose was bleeding and my life was over. Every time I see a turkey, I'm reminded of the fateful day." Kurapika was tearing up over the tragic backstory. Kurapika couldn't believe his fetish had caused such a deep memory to resurface for Chrollo. 

"I'm… so sorry. I had no idea, really." Then, his sorrow turned to delight as he pulled out the stuffing. "But… I think we could have a lot of fun with this." He did the winky thing again and Chrollo got weak in the knees.

Kurapika took the stuffing and placed it on a spoon. He massaged it over Chrollo's belly button. He turned it on it side and flung a few pieces of stuffing into 'his button. He finally settled on the crevice of Chrollo's belly button to leave an immense amount of stuffing. He massaged it into the hole and licked it to make Chrollo feel extra spicy and bothered. He then took a container of gravy and coated the preexisting stuffing, only making Chrollo's raging member as straight as a ruler. His fingers circled around the splashes of gravy, trailing it up to his chest. His fingers rubbed circles in between his nipples as he smeared gravy all over him. He took the spoon and cupped his bottom part. He rotated the spoon around, allowing his ball to roll around. He tilted the spoon down allowing his other teste to roll in the scoop. Kurapika continued rolling the spoon in a clockwise motion. He with drew the spoon and spat in it. He took his thumb and massaged the saliva into the stuffing.

"Gotta make lube somehow aye??

"Whatever works best."

He poured Chrollo's testicles back into the spoon and spun it around once more. Chrollo grunted and gritted his teeth. 

"Is, that all you got?…huff…..just a bit of a ride from a spoon and some stuffing?"

"Not impressed? I guess I got to get imaginitve…"

Kurapika turned to the counter next to him and pulled out the drawer. 

He hovered his hand around all the instruments trying to figure out what to pick.  
"Knife? Too messy…"  
"Cheese grater? That won't end well….."  
"Waitaminute I got it!!"

He grasped for the long, wooden, stiff rolling pin. Chrollo's eyes widened at the tool of trade used. Kurapika stuck his tongue and rolled his rolling pin against it, picking up sliva with each compelte roll. After a few laps it had a dense enough layer to make things smooth and lubricated. 

"What's going on?" Chrollo began to stutter a bit in wonder.

"I'll need you to hold your staff upwards towards the sky, if you don't mind." Kuraika gave him a toothy, seductive, grin. Chrollo hestantly held his thing up. Kurapika rolled the rolling pin against Chrollo's extention. It was pressed against his lower abdomen being pressured by the rolling wood. The spit-soaked pin kept Chrollo's staff long and hard. IT began to sweat on its own. Before he knew it, there was an eruption of… u kno… and CHROLLO fell over and panted in exhaustion. Kurapika looked stunned.

"What the freaking heck Chrollo??? THIS IS FOREPLAY I HAVENT EVEN DONE ANYTHING YET???" Chrollo looked ashamed. TBH so did Kurapika, what a weak bf he had am i right????? 

Then, Chrollo cried and Kurapika felt bad. But… to be honest could you really blame him for feeling that way after that pathetic display? Chrollo was all like "when you stare in the abyss the abyss stares into you." And he fell to his knees and started to mentally loop a Linkin Park album in his head. 

Kurapika was so mad honestly. He went off with Hisoka and NEVER WENT BACK TO THIS WEAK HOE


End file.
